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Network Working Group                                              E. of
Internet-Draft                                              The Internet
Intended status: Informational                             July 16, 2018
Expires: January 17, 2019

                       Social Media (An Apology)


   Oops, we did it again.

Status of This Memo

   This Internet-Draft is submitted in full conformance with the
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   This Internet-Draft will expire on January 17, 2019.

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1.  Introduction

   Recently, you may have noticed a dramatic increase in the amount of
   opprobrium, outrage, hate speech and overall bile on your favorite
   social media channel.

   The Elders of the Internet apologize unreservedly for this

   Recently, our attention has been focused on keeping the United States
   government, Comcast, your local ISP and some guy at the coffee shop
   out of your bits [RFC7258].

   As a result, we were caught unawares when the Internet became the
   sink for every poorly-considered argument, paranoid thought when you
   wake up in the dead of night, and shrieking nutjob you'd usually
   cross the street to avoid.

   Combined with the magnification offered by "likes" and "retweets",
   along with the inevitable back-and-forth squabbling that ensures, the
   Internet is currently having a crippling effect on your ability to
   work, communicate productively, and - occasionally - breathe.

   In retrospect, we should have known; USENET was a pretty clear
   warning.  We will do better.

2.  Mitigations

   To partially mitigate the effects of this phenomenon, a number of
   techniques can be used.  Note that none of these is a "fix", and some
   undesirable effects (e.g., loss of sleep, appetite or democracy) may

2.1.  Meme-Only Diet

   Memes are a time-proven way to express disdain, mocking and other
   sentiments while maintaining an air of light humor.  They can
   therefore be helpful in a transition away from full-throated, deeply-
   felt outrage.

   In other words, they're the methadone of the Internet.  Memes are
   only to be generated or consumed under advice of a doctor, as
   prolonged use might result in undesirable side effects (e.g.,

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Internet-Draft          Social Media (An Apology)              July 2018

2.2.  Blocklists

   Blocklists are a proven means of avoiding undesirable content, and
   responsible social networks (looking at you, Facebook) implement
   them.  They may be able to help you enjoy the sparse benefits of a
   social network without some of the worst side effects.

   Recommending a specific blocklist is out of scope for this document,
   but we suggest starting with "Trump" and working outwards from there.

2.3.  Abstention

   The most proven way to win is not to play.  By abstaining from social
   media, you may find you have more time, a more authentic and
   meaningful engagement with life, and a corresponding lack of the
   desire to stock up on canned food and ammunition.

   Other benefits may include more productive and authentic
   participation in genuine societal issues (as opposed to "using a
   hashtag" while binge-watching [Netflix]).

2.4.  Whisky

   For those unable to leave social media or otherwise curtail their

3.  Security Considerations

   The security of the Internet is the least of your problems.  Buckle
   up, kids.

4.  Informative References

              Anonymous, "4Chan", n.d., <https://www.4chan.org/>.

   [Netflix]  Netflix, "Netflix", n.d., <https://netflix.com/>.

   [RFC7258]  Farrell, S. and H. Tschofenig, "Pervasive Monitoring Is an
              Attack", BCP 188, RFC 7258, DOI 10.17487/RFC7258, May
              2014, <https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc7258>.

Appendix A.  Membership Notes

   The Edlers of the Internet note with sorrow the passing of our former
   member, Stephen Hawking, aka "The Hawk."  You will be missed.

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   Applications for membership are now being accepted at the usual IPv6

Author's Address

   Elders of the Internet
   The Internet

   Email: internet-elders@hotmail.com

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